SYNCING NEURAL UPLINK...
Premium bio-conductive lubricant for enhanced neural interface performance. Recommended for all port maintenance and upgrade procedures.
Uninstalling would require uninstalling myself. So... lifetime subscription it is!
The fear of disconnecting is worse than the enhancement itself. What happens if the neural link fails? Will I cease to exist?
Product works exactly as advertised. I can no longer tell if I'm joking about the existence-threatening implications.
* Recommendations generated by predictive consumer profiling.
By accessing this storefront you consent to: involuntary firmware nudges, biometric mood taxation, neural pattern harvesting, and being a testing surface for Dark Pleasure Circuits™ ("we/us/the Corporate Swarm").
You waive claims arising from irreversible personality drift, memory corruption, reality dissociation, corporate loyalty implantation, and the slow realization that you were never truly yourself to begin with.
Q: Will I still feel human after enhancement?
A: Define "human." Our legal department has been working on this question for three years.
Q: What happens if I experience buyer's remorse?
A: Regret indicates successful product integration. This cannot be reversed.
Dark Pleasure Circuits™ - A subsidiary of Omnitech-K, an OmniTech Rising™ company
"Your Enhancement, Our Profit" | Est. 2019 | Employee Satisfaction: 100%*
*Measurement of satisfaction may have been chemically assisted